Guests From Heaven
Perhaps the Devil has a heart after all; murderers, rapists, and other wrongdoers burning forever will soon have permission to temporarily extinguish the fire and welcome visitors.
A memo released by Hell on X states “Many of the souls burning in hell, have just been doing that for centuries. This gives them an opportunity to repent to those they caused harm to or even visit with loved ones, if they have any.”
Many believe this comes at a time when God and the Devil are attempting to collaborate more–and that God is even willing to open Heaven's doors to those who have righted themselves while dwelling in hell.
A hell dweller speaking under anonymity noted: “Forever is an unreasonable and unmeasurable amount of time. I killed my husband's bimbo mistress–shot the bitch in her vagina and gouged out her eyes. She wasn't a saint herself. We were able to talk down here, clear things up. We now see eye to eye, figuratively, of course, not literally.
If she's forgiven me, I see no reason to hold the grudge. Let me have a visitor or two. I'd love to visit with my birth mom, find out why she abandoned me–left me in a bassinet at one week old at the door of an emergency room.
Opponents argue that the segregation of Hell and Heaven distinguishes the two.
“It's like living in Skidrow vs. Beverly Hills. “I don't want anyone living in Skidrow visiting me. I'm hopeful that God won't allow visitors here,” voiced a concerned soul residing in Heaven. “I don't want that type of energy around me. Call me an N.I.M.B.Y. if you want.”
After vehementing refusing to accept Adam Lamza, The Sandy Hook Elementary School shooter who shot and killed 26 people, twenty of the victims were children between six and seven years old, and the other six were adult staff members, the Devil reluctantly opened the gates of heaven for Lamza.
“We ultimately had to accept Lamza as we pride ourselves on Burning The Best of the Worse,” stated Hell in a press release,. “However the Devil felt that Lamza had taken sinning too far.”
It is unclear if the Devil will allow souls killed that awful day at Sandy Hook to visit Lamza in hell.
His mother, a school teacher, –also shot that day by Lamza--has reportedly completed a request to God to visit her son in Hell.